Change is hard and involves a lot of work. There’s no way to candy coat it. And candidly, if I had known what it would take I might not have undertaken it. From where I was half way through the process to this point it was a good thing I didn’t know how much more there was to do. I was in the middle of the hardest part and couldn’t yet see how things would turn out. More than a few times I was tempted to bag the whole thing and go start over, a new life with someone new, in a new place. Now, I’m so glad I didn’t.
I regularly field questions that turn on wondering whether all this hard work is worth it. My clients come in all frustrated at where their life is or in a huge crisis over getting caught in a compromising behavior that threatens to tear their world apart. The beginning is pretty easy because the pain is so acute. They begin in desperation. And for those needing to address addictive behaviors that desperation is critical. They must be willing to do “whatever it takes” or they are wasting my time and their money.
The question comes when the client has begun to feel some relief. Another point is when they realize that the aggrieved spouse isn’t falling over themselves to accept their forgiveness and welcome them back with open arms. One thing I never do is promise a client that I will fix their marriage or be able to prevent their spouse from leaving. What I will promise is to help them become the kind of person that a healthy, mature woman might be attracted to. In other words, I will help them become a better person.
But that takes work. And the question remains, “Is it worth it?” The short answer is, Yes!
Now 20+ yrs. on in my own journey, I am realizing the fruits of much hard work and a “long obedience in the same direction” (taken from the title of a Eugene Peterson book). My marriage has been more than restored, it has been transformed. My life is filled with purpose, people and peace. I have moved away from those who are toxic to me and filled their places with friends who bring life and joy to my life and into whose life I can return the gift.
I can look any person straight in the eye and tell them with confidence that I am a better man for having undertaken the journey. It brings me no end of satisfaction to come alongside other men and walk the path of their journey with them for a season. Few things bring me more sense of fulfillment than seeing them come to enjoy the fruits of their own journey of change.
So if you're wondering about undertaking change in your life let's talk. it may be just the starting point you've been looking for.