Change is a funny thing. There’s no telling what will precipitate it or when it will happen. Time and time again I listen to someone giving a talk about the changes they have experienced in their life and I hear them say, “and then something changed and things were different.”
The most memorable was a recording of an AA speaker who told his life story. The salient point was that it took him 6 ½ years to get 30 days sober. I remember him commenting that he didn’t know why but something changed and all the sudden he got it. At the time of the recording he had something like 17 years of sobriety.
There is a huge difference between knowing I need to make changes and actually making them. If wishes were horses. . . all the good intentions and wishing things were different won’t bring about the change. No amount of nagging by well-intentioned spouses, relatives, children, bosses, preachers or counselors will get it done.
The one thing I can point to is persistence. I was deeply affected by the AA speaker’s comment that it took him 6 ½ years to get 30 days. Keep coming back. Keep putting yourself in places where change can occur, places like recovery meetings and church. Keep yourself in contact with people who can help bring about change, people like other recovering people of the same sex as you, healthy friends who lead toward sobriety or a trusted counselor, pastor or coach.
When I led Celebrate Recovery I didn’t worry as much about the folks who came in each week with precious little sobriety as I did those who I hadn’t seen for a while. If they were there, they were in the right place getting a head full of recovery and eventually change would happen.
Persist, keep coming back, put yourself in places and in company with those who will able to help you move forward to healthy living when that internal switch flips and change does occur.